Monday, March 05, 2007

seasons of life

Usually, when I think of seasons of life, I think of big, long expanses of time. "Seasons" like ChildHood, Teenager, AdultHood. Today, I'm thinking of my "seasons" as more realistic chunks of time... and I'm overjoyed to report that I feel like I'm coming out of a really rough, cloudy season.
The past few months have burdened me emotionally: with questions about ministry and my spiritual gifts, admitting that God is in control of my life and not me, feeling some intense relational voids, and struggling with being in the Word and in prayer as I ought to be. Of course, throw in totaling my brand new car, and my goose was pretty well cooked.
I've had some good time to think and pray lately, and had a great conversation with Mark on Thursday night, and as a result, God's really been churning things in my heart. The sun is breaking through the clouds on some of those issues. He's made it clear that I really need to embrace the life and the roles He's given me today, and do so joyfully. I'm making progress. I know that He knows the desires of my heart - and that it's okay for me to have those desires. But it's not okay for me to let that keep me from the life He died to give me.
The life I have right now may not be the one I would draw up for myself if I was given the paint. However, my artistic skills are nothing compared to my Lord's - He can fashion a life more intricately woven with love, challenge, laughter, sorrow, joy, wisdom, pain and contentment than I could ever dream. A life where He is the center. I need to teach my wandering heart that my treasure lies in Him - not in the things of this world or in the plans that I have for myself.
His grace is sufficient for me.

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