Saturday, November 01, 2008

an expert diagnostician

I think I have a case of Kathisecoautomysophobia.
I combined three actual phobias into one and made up my own word. Not that I ever do that.
For those of you who are not expert diagnosticians when it comes to hitherto unnamed and nonsensical phobias... allow me to enlighten you.
It's the fear of sitting down and allowing your home to become dirty.
Which is my fancy way of saying - I have a problem.
I like order. I like things being in their "places" and general tidiness to my space. Messy spaces are very distracting and unsettling to me. Can't relax. I'm not overly hung up on cleaning all the time - but as big piles of dirty dishes and mountains of laundry aren't any fun to look at, or to imagine tackling... I try to keep them from appearing in my house.
It used to be that a lot of my Kathisecoautomysophobic tendencies were focused on my office (at work). It was a tidy little space where I felt very comfortable. My home was then allowed to be comfortably cluttery - never really messy, but I didn't feel so compelled to put it in order.
Fast forward to me becoming a stay-at-home-mama... suddenly my house IS my "office" - except now there are other people in it all the time and I'm not the only one who uses/moves things and I'm here during the week and on the weekends and in the evenings...
This is a very long-winded way of saying that I have a hard time allowing myself to relax. I used to be OK with coming home from work and giving myself that time to unwind. Now that home is where I work - I find it much more difficult to unwind here... it kinda feels like staying late at the office to try to relax - why would anyone do that??
Now, I'm a homebody - I love being at home... going "out" doesn't relax me much at all - so I don't know that leaving the house to find some relaxation is a good solution for me. I just need to find a way to allow myself to sit on my behind once in awhile and read a book (without turning into a lazy bum, because that's my other tendency... I either work too hard, or I don't do anything all day long).
As my sage husband said to me this morning, "Sometimes it takes more discipline to be undisciplined." He knows me well.
I wonder if there's a pill I can take...

3 thoughts:

Wendy said...

I think I have Kathisecoautomysophobia too! I feel the same way as you do. I can't relax at home until it's clean and everything is in its place.

Chris said...

I guess only 28 year olds use the words 'hitherto' 'diagnostician' :)

Ashleigh (Heart and Home) said...

If there's a pill, let me know, cuz I'm in desperate need of some relaxation and not so much cleaning. ;)