Monday, October 19, 2009

the more things change...

Sesame Street has become a part of our day - not every day, but a couple times a week. It's so different from when I was a kid - and yet so the same. Different characters are in the limelight, and the songs are much jazzier, R & Bish versions of what I remember... but it's still good ol' Sesame Street.

My life feels a little bit that way right now - very different from that of 6 months ago, and incredibly different from 2 years ago.

Today there are two little ladies who are entirely dependent on Mark and me - for everything. Food, water, clothes, warmth, comfort, love, learning. Everything.

I have very little control over when and how much I get to sleep. Or shower, for that matter.

My living room is cluttered with board books, blocks, stuffed animals, baby blankets and spit rags.

My pantry is stocked with fruit snacks and graham crackers shaped like bunnies, and Cheerios.

Today I got up before 6am to hang out with my weirdly-awake little Hazelnut.

She made me laugh, gave me some great snuggles, and shared my yogurt at breakfast.

I've given Meriel a bath, changed a few diapers, wiped tears and put tiny socks on tiny feet again and again.

Sometimes I get frustrated with how little of my life is mine - but then I'm reminded that IT ISN'T MINE. It's God's. It never was mine... I was just better able to believe that it was a few years ago.

And so even though the day-to-day mechanics of my life bear little to no resemblance to the mechanics of years past... the fact that things are different helps remind me that nothing has changed.

1 thoughts:

Ashley said...

Hi! I'm a new reader....Just wanted to tell you this post really blessed me. I know it should just be a given, but I really needed that reminder today that my life is not MINE. It changes things so much when you stop and acknowledge that. Thanks for the encouragement :)