Thursday, June 11, 2009

the other love languages

I think lots of people have heard the phrase "love language." You know - the things others can do for you that make you feel most loved, and the things that you likewise tend to do for others (whether it's their love language or not). Gary Chapman wrote a book (or two or three) about it.

Here's the thing:

Neither Mark or I fit the mold.

Me - While I definitely have tendencies (quality time and physical affection probably being tops) - I respond well to ALL the love languages (quality time, gifts, acts of service, physical affection, words of affirmation). Mark likes to pretend this makes me trickier to figure out, and teases me about being high maintenance... I prefer to think that pretty much ANY NICE THING you do for me will be appreciated. Can't get much easier than that, can you?

Mark - In honor of my hubby's bizarre personality - I have decided that the wonderful Dr. Chapman actually (unintentionally, of course) excluded two love languages... instead of 5, there are truly (at least) 7 distinct love languages. (Lucky for me) Mark speaks the Missing Languages of Love: Entertainment and Anti-Time.

Allow me to explain them both....

Entertainment - Mark loves to be entertained... he likes to go to movies and to have people over and to go out with people and "do" lots of "things." It speaks to his heart when I arrange these things to do with him. Or send him out to do them on his own (which leads me to the second Missing Language of Love...)

Anti-Time - Being an extremely social creature, Mark is loved well when I send him out to do things with friends - whether it's out for ice cream, playing tennis, or taking off to visit friends that live in other states... when I send him outside the home with "my blessing" (haha) - that's one of the best ways I know to show him that I love him. (You may have noted that it's possible that a married couple with two competing love languages - quality time and anti-time - may be in for a fun ride... and you might be right. Loving each other this way takes some suck-it-up-sacrificing... but that's what love is about, right?)

Anyone else discovered some Missing Love Languages??

1 thoughts:

Chantel said...

I haven't discovered any new ones, but it is good to try to have an idea about the Love Languages, Roger and I has to read the book as part of our pre-martial consuleing through the church.