Tuesday, September 29, 2009

nostalgia and newness

It's fall.

I *love* fall. If you know me, you know that already. I love, adore, and treasure fall. I'd snuggle it if I could.

Fall always brings me a sense of nostalgia - of moving on - looking ahead and looking back. It's probably the back-to-school-ness of it all - but I always get a shiver of anticipation laced with the sweet sadness of something ending. And of course, all of that is seasoned with apples, colorful leaves, pumpkins, brisk breezes, comfy sweatshirts and cinnamony-baking-smells. (I've gone and made myself hungry... must. fight. urge. to. go. bake.)

Anyway - this year there is no school. The girls are too young (thank the Lord) and my schedule is no longer intertwined with the university's schedule. But I still find myself peering ahead and sneaking a peek backwards on these fine fall days.

I look back toward pregnancy, toward my days as a Mama of One. Summer is back there too - with late sunsets and warm morning sunshine. It all makes me smile, but I'm not truly sad it's gone. Just savoring the memories.

I look ahead to cooler days, early evenings, mugs of cocoa and snuggles under warm blankets. I look ahead to watching Meriel unfold her little personality with smiles and wiggles and playtime. I look ahead to the little girl Hazel is becoming - so talkative, so smart, so imaginative. I laugh every. single. day. with her - she is such a blessing to my days, and a balm to my sometimes-very-tired-mama heart.

As fall unfolds before us, I pray simply that God would give me feet to fit the path He has laid out, and that I might point to Him as I walk along it.

It's fall.

I *love* fall.

2 thoughts:

his wife, their mama said...

So wonderful to read your words this morning. There's a bit of a shake-up going on down here, and your prayer is just what my heart needed. What powerful words "feet to fit the path", but oh how hard I fight for it the other way some days. Thank you for being such a blessing to me this morning. Oh, I heart fall too!

Ashleigh (Heart and Home) said...

I am SO with you. Even though there's no school in our world right now, it still FEELS like there should be, and I simply adore the fresh start feeling. I'm anxious for chillier weather... and this year, it looks like I might even get to experience (read: move to) a snowy world. :)