position or person?

In the past few weeks, I've witnessed something that has left me feeling a little disheartened. And like I'm walking up a pretty steep hill as a parent. (The details aren't important, and it has nothing to do with either of my children directly - just culture and society).

An honest mistake was made, noticed and an apology quickly offered. And rather than seeing grace extended - I saw judgment meted out, defenses raised, and conclusions jumped to with alarming speed. It went on for d-a-y-s. All this in a community of adults. I stayed out of the discussion entirely... which may have been wise and prudent or it may have been a bit cowardly. I'm not sure... but I'm not going to spend any time dwelling on that.

I am more struck by what this dynamic says about our culture.

We are quick to protect ourselves. We are smart - and so others should hear what we have to say, and respect us for it. We deserve to have a space to air our concerns - and while we are allowed (and even compelled) to share our opinion... we are only required to appreciate those who back up our beliefs. ANYthing we offer beyond that should be praised as exemplary.

It's sad to realize how often I am quicker to protect my position than a person. I wasn't a party in this particular conflict - but I am by no means innocent of this behavior. How often do I love MY judgment, MY position, MY convictions... more than I love a person? Why does it seem preferable to be "true to myself" rather than to be true to God?

I want to teach my children to love people more than principles - and love God above all. How often am I moved to tears, brought to my knees - by the unending grace of my Father? And how often do I extend that same grace to others? The inequity there is really shameful.

The best way to teach my daughters is to live it myself... and so, yet again - the reflecting pool of parenthood moves me to take a closer look at myself. And I shake my head, turn away, and pray that the next glimpse I get looks a little less like me and a little more like Him.