Thursday, October 26, 2006

what do people need?

We abuse the word "need" in our culture... I need new shoes, I need an iPod, I need more time... I know I get caught swimming around in things I want, things that are really important, and things I actually need.
If anyone's ever taken a Psychology course, this pyramid looks familiar... it's known as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I haven't spent a ton of time analyzing the pyramid, or doing any research at all to see if holds true... but from what I do know - it's fairly accurate. The basic premise is that we cannot have certain needs met if our more basic needs are still unmet. For example, it's hard to feel a sense of self-identity and belonging if you're malnourished and homeless. We tend to focus on basic needs first, then our more complicated ones. Makes sense, right?
Today, my basic needs are well met. I have a warm house, lots of food, clothing - all the biological necessities to keep me alive. My safety needs are also well met - my home is safe, I'm in a relationship that's strong and getting stronger, and my town/state/country is not in a state of active warfare or anything. I start to get a little fuzzy once I move past this phase - granted, I have people that love me and groups to which I "belong" - but I think it's been awhile since I felt a true sense of ownership and identity in my extra-curricular activities. A friend told me on Tuesday that we all need to be surrounded by people who enjoy and love us exactly as we are (as well as encourage and push us along to become better) - as I've gotten older, that's gotten harder and harder to do. I've got a fair amount of self-drive when it comes to pushing myself to grow and change... I like that about myself, but it makes it hard to allow anyone to meet me where I'm at.
I'm not sure exactly what I'm thinking right now... I just miss the feeling of having friends that call you just to check in, people that you can hang out with and not have any anxiety or stress about how the time will go, and truly feeling part of a community where you fit well.
(Just FYI - I'm having a good day - I know this post sounds depressing, but it's really more just something that's been rolling around in my brain lately. Plus, it's sunny outside today - and that's FABULOUS!! :D)

1 thoughts:

Kaycee said...

I actually know what you are talking about a bit with this. I had a similar feeling when at was on MSU's campus for a football game a few weeks ago. I realized I really miss the community of people I had at State - from RAs I worked with, to friends/suitemates/roommates, to random people on my floor that stopped to chat and made me smile. After living in a community setting I think it can be isolating to live on your own (or with partner/spouse no matter how great they are) in an apartment or house. In most cases you can't just run next door, down the hall or out to a quick informal lunch at the caf with them. I miss the interaction with multiple people and friends throughout the week - it becomes so much harder to do once you are in the real world!

Anyway, that's my 2 cents.... for what it's worth. ;-)