Thursday, January 11, 2007

trust

I've been thinking a lot about trust lately. Not in a "you-look-kinda-sketchy-I-don't-know-if-I-can-trust-you" way, but in a "what-does-it-really-look-like-to-trust-God's-design-for-me" sense. Unfortunately for my wishing-to-be-lazy self, it looks as though the answer isn't easy. At least not in the beginning. I enjoy planning things, I prefer to know what's coming, and I like to feel prepared for what lies ahead. I feel as though I'm standing on the edge of something, and I know exactly what I want the journey to look like - timing, results... all of it. But right now, all I can see is where I'm standing, and maybe one step ahead. Beyond that - pitch black. It terrifies me. I have no doubt that I will move forward - there's no question in my mind that I will walk into the blackness. I'd just like to know the path, how long it will take, and other *minor* details like that.
I know that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
I know that He will make my paths straight.
I know that He gives peace that passes understanding.
I know that He knows the desires of my heart, and that He has plans to prosper me and not harm me, to give me a hope and a future.
It's just so hard to live that. To really lay back in pure, trusting obedience and accept that God knows and loves my heart, and knows better than I do what is good for me. I need to stop wishing I could control this, and find a way to take joy in His awesome power and purpose.
Any ideas for a woman who loves to plan, and wants desperately to know what is coming?

3 thoughts:

Mark and Courtney said...

Try an international adoption. ;)

Julie said...

I've been recalling a quote lately by R.C. Sproul (I'm not sure who he is, but it's in my new planner).

"It is one thing to believe in God. It is quite another to believe God."

No advice here, just know that you are not alone in your struggles. It's also comforting to me to hear your feelings.

Tucker said...

I like that you can share your struggle with trusting in His plan. I always want to say, "But God, have you really thought about this option over here?" I like Julies quote, seems to apply really well.