new respect

This new job I have... "Mama" - is so much more than I could have imagined.
More rewarding.
More difficult.
More full of precious little moments.
More monotonous.
More overwhelming.
More joyful.
So. Much. More.

It's kind of wild. I'm overcome by how much I love this new little lady in my life. I absolutely adore watching my husband love her. I feel like I'm re-learning how to take care of myself and my home - to be dressed before 9:00am (like I am today) is such an accomplishment.
I do, also, have a new respect for blogging Mamas. I've been meaning to post for AGES - and although I can catch a few minutes to type up part of a post - it seems nigh impossible to actually finish one! (the birth story is almost done, by the way... hopefully it will be up soon!)
It's only my second day "on the job" since Mark was home with me most of last week - and the "task" part isn't too overwhelming. Right now, I'm trying to deal with this new identity I have. It's as if someone switched me overnight - from a person I knew very well, into someone I am just getting to know. It's a little scary, and cool at the same time... I'm still not quite sure what to make of it. One thing I do know - God is at work here. And all will go even more smoothly if I simply let Him work.

for now

Here are some pictures - the story is still coming! This new Mama is realizing how quickly the hours slip by with a newborn in the house! :) Enjoy these pics of our little lady!
Hazel - about to head home from the hospital:












Hazel, playing on the living room floor:

baby baby baby!!

On Friday, February 15th at 3:53pm, Mark and I welcomed our baby daughter, Hazel Maryn. Our "little" girl came in at 9lb 1oz and 23 inches long!
A more detailed birth story is to come - we have been home since Saturday evening and are doing very well. Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes - God has truly been sooo faithful to us through this experience!!

l-o-v-e

Happy Valentine's Day!
(nope, no baby yet!)
:)

running out of ways to say it (UPDATED for Anonymous)

Still no Baby B.
I have, however, crocheted a baby blanket, made 31 thank-you cards in anticipation of needing to thank people for various things in the coming weeks, crocheted a baby hat, done more laundry, and made another meal for the freezer. I would keep going, but there's basically no room left in the freezer, and my productivity would then become counter-productive.
I'd bake something, but Mark gave up sweets for Lent *** and it's WAY too dangerous to make something when I'm the only one around who would eat it. And I would eat it.
Last night I spent about a half hour bouncing around the house - literally. Still couldn't convince Baby to come out. I am the Amazing Dilated Woman.
From the beginning, I said I'd rather not have a Valentine's baby - it just seems like it could be a bummer of a birthday. So I'm betting that's what I'll get. And surprisingly enough - in the past few days, Valentine's Day has seemed like a better and better day to have a baby. Much better than, say - the 15th or 16th.
:)
*** In response to Anonymous's comment, you're correct - the tradition of giving something up for Lent is not practiced in the Bible. It is symbolic of the 40 days Jesus spent fasting in the desert. And although the practice itself doesn't have a Biblical basis, it can be a great way to refocus ourselves - whenever you find yourself wanting the thing you have given up, say a prayer. Use small sacrifices to remind yourself of the enormous sacrifice Christ made for us. And for the record - deciding NOT to give something up for Lent doesn't make you a bad person. It's just a tool that some people find really useful for focusing their thoughts on God.

passing time

Yesterday I went grocery shopping, did laundry, did some more meal-prep work, made dinner, read for awhile, watched a movie and fixed our desktop computer woes (HOO! RAY! I tell you).
And still, the day seemed to drag.
I think I will have to come up with a fun project for today, lest my baby be born to a woman who has gone insane waiting for his/her arrival. :)
Because, let's face it. It's 6:45am on a day when I don't have to work, and I'm blogging.
I need help. :)

nada

Okay - still nothing to report. All signs point to "Soon" - but that is turning out to be a rather vague concept. :)
Mark teased me awhile ago that if this baby takes after me, it will arrive exactly on its due date, if not a teeny bit early. Perhaps that will be the case.
In the meantime, I am resting, reading, and trying to get the house in decent order - so that returning from the hospital won't be too stressful.
Thanks for the thoughts & prayers!!

master of the obvious

This is a post simply to say that there is, as yet, nothing to say.
Mark ran into Funny Dr. Man at our gym last night, and said "If you're here, and I'm here, then my wife is in trouble if she goes into labor right now!" (kidding, obviously - it's not like our gym in Kentucky or on the moon or anything).
Funny Dr. Man expressed his surprise last night that I hadn't gone into labor on FRIDAY night - he was sure I would - and as I understand, grateful that I didn't, as he needed some sleep.
Well, he just got another night uninterrupted (at least by me). Our Little One has been causing more and more contractions - just nothing regular or intense yet. S/he definitely has a sense of timing - and it must not be "just right" yet.
And so, we wait.
Thanks for all the well wishes and encouragement - we're currently busy thinking Laborful Thoughts - it's a sunny, COLD Sunday. Seems like a good day to have a baby... :)

see you this weekend?

I went to the doctor this morning - and I like my doctor's office a lot. There are 4 docs that I've been seeing in rotation - and I really like 3 of them. They are:
(names have been changed to protect their true identities)
Cool Dr. Lady
Funny Dr. Man
Shy Dr. Man
I do not particularly care for Mean Dr. Lady (it could be her name, it'd be hard to overcome that...)

I saw Funny Dr. Man this morning - and although I was supposed to be "checked" for progress this morning, he initially said he wasn't going to, since I hadn't really had any "signs" of labor.
FDM: I don't like when people get mad because I tell them they're not dilated at all. Do you really WANT to be checked?
Me: I wouldn't mind. (meaning - you better check me, Funny Dr. Man!!)
FDM: Okay then.
(a few minutes later, ready for exam)
FDM: Baby's head is really low.... well... you're a good 4cm and 80% effaced.
Me: Are you kidding?? (thinking, this better not be Funny Dr. Man's idea of being funny...)
FDM: Nope - you're doing great, especially for a first-timer. It doesn't mean you'll have the baby TODAY, but you'll most likely be going into labor in the next few days.
Me: Well, okay then!

It's hard to believe - I was fully ready to be told that it would be at least another week or so. And I do know that it doesn't mean that labor is necessarily about to happen. But it's WAY more than I was expecting. It's hard to believe that I could be meeting this little babe any day now. For real.

Wow.

horizons

It's about 8:20 on a Thursday morning. I'm on the couch, laptop on my legs (I don't really have a lap anymore...), wearing big old sweatpants and a tshirt that doesn't quite disguise the squirmy wormy little one in my belly.
Last week (and many, many weeks prior to that) I would have been at work for at least an hour, prepping myself for the days' appointments, answering emails, and chatting with coworkers about the upcoming day or their plans for the weekend.
Times have already changed so much.
I've never been someone who was too afraid of or resistant to change. Even as a little kid - I always wanted to be a little older - was so excited to someday move on to "the next big thing." It's a good trait in some ways, and a bit of a shortcoming in others. I appreciate my ability to not hold on too hard to the past, especially because changes, both big and little, are inevitable. I set goals about who I think God wants me to become, and I work hard toward becoming that woman "someday." But I also find myself living in the future when I maybe should be living in the moment. Especially when the moment is a little trying.
I've always pretty much known I wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom. The decision I made when I got pregnant to leave my job was not a tough one to make. But I underestimated how much I'd enjoy working. Now, I fully anticipate that the rewards and challenges of my new career in full-time mommyhood will be more intense and genuine than any I've experienced before. And I'm so excited.
But it's not here yet.
And my tendency is to watch the horizon, and wait (hopefully) patiently for what is to come.
But then I'm neglecting the moment. And since I know my God, and that He does all things with a purpose that works for the good of those who love Him... He's got something in mind for this time. I don't want to miss that either.
And so I will try to take advantage of these days and hours - and instead of thinking about how badly I want to meet this child and embark on this new & unknown journey - I will appreciate the moments I have been given. Moments of quiet and rest, of time with God and with friends. I will enjoy the life stretching and moving in my belly - it will be a sensation gone all too soon. I will try to listen to the wind, to the small whisper - because that's where God usually is.
There are beautiful things on the horizon... but there are beautiful things here today as well.

pictures! of things!!

A few days ago we had almost a foot of snow on the ground. Mark left me a message in the backyard - things have obviously warmed up a bit around here because you can see the grass - but the sentiment was not washed away.









These are the diaper bags I made - Mark's is on the left, mine on the right. He even wandered around JoAnn's with me to pick out his fabric. (Of course, I said I wouldn't make it for him unless he picked out exactly what he wanted so as to avoid any un-manliness surrounding his diaper bag. It's hard enough to have a "manly" diaper bag anyway....)










These are the paintings I just finished for Baby B's room - the bugs are pretty much copied from (er, inspired by!) the fabric we used to make the crib stuff, curtains & diaper stacker. The room looks a little more ready every day!!









Now I'm tired - time to rest a bit before dinner & the second wind I'm sure to get this evening. :)

i take it back

Okay - so staying at home when nesting instincts are in FULL SWING is not so easy as it sounds.
By 5:00pm yesterday I was wiped out - but back into full gear by 8:30 or so, and not in bed until after 11:00pm (a bedtime I haven't seen voluntarily in months).
The only thing I didn't get done off my checklist yesterday is the desktop computer thing - but that's really out of my hands at the moment (I'm waiting on a boot disk that is crucial to my progress).
Today - I'll probably finish up my pre-baby meal preparation (yesterday I did chicken & pork, today is beef) and maybe visit a friend whose littlest one (she has four boys!!) is about 2.5 weeks old, maybe run a couple of errands... what with the arrival of Baby B a possibility any ol' time, there are just a couple of things I really ought to have.
Funny Story of the Day (well, yesterday):
Katie's shopping in Meijer, minding her own business... friendly man in the garbage bag aisle smiles at her and says, "So, are you due TOMORROW?"
Same trip, in the checkout line. Different friendly man pulls his cart up behind Katie in line, smiles at her and says, "Man, I've been there."
I guess it was the Day of Men Saying Harmless But Inane Things to Strangers. At least they all smiled at me first. :)

Stay-At-Home... Bum?

Technically, I guess I'm already a mama. I mean, I *have* a baby - it's just not available right now. But it's hard to consider myself a stay-at-home-mom when I'm essentially home by myself.
Here's the agenda for today:
Clean floors after 30-ish teenagers invaded our home for a Super Bowl party last night. CHECK.
Run dishwasher after 30-ish teenagers invaded our home for a Super Bowl party last night. CHECK.
Make the bed. CHECK.
Go grocery shopping & return all our cans for a refund (finally!)
Do some cooking for freezer meals once Baby B is on the scene.
Get desktop computer up and running again (this one may take awhile).
Clean up Baby B's room. Again. Because it has turned into my own personal craft studio.
Maybe if I get most/all of these things done I won't feel like such a bum - it's just really funny to be at home and know you're not on vacation from work... to know that you're just plain not going back. Weird.
I DID manage to make Mark's backpack-style diaper bag this weekend (he picked out the fabric himself, and has already named it Midnight), and made a ring sling for carrying Baby B around... I'm feeling pretty good about those projects being done. Once I get my SAHB act together, I'll post a picture or two.

think inside the box

Well, folks - it's been a busy week, and apparently I've been slacking in my bloggie responsibilities. Between some evening commitments and finishing up my final days at work, I've been neglecting my poor little blog. Sincere apologies are extended to all (three of you) who read this.
First - no, there is no Baby B on the scene yet. Still very much pregnant.
Second - today is my first official day as a stay-at-home-mama. I must say - while the baby is still in utero - this staying-at-home thing ain't so bad. :) We went to the doctor this morning, made some cranberry-orange muffins, had lunch with friends, and I've gotten a pedicure, watched a little TV, started the dishwasher and done some organizing this afternoon. It feels good to be at home.
Third - the picture. Wednesday night the UPS man climbed our steps with a package. This is not an unusual occurence these days, what with my manic online-shopping-to-prepare-for-Baby-B's-arrival, I think we've been getting a delivery pretty much every single day for the past millenium. But the box in question was rather large, and I hadn't ordered anything large.
Come to find out that my Aunt Val had coordinated with other members of the family (who live in IL and WI, at a minimum of 4-5 hours from here) to throw me a Surprise Baby Shower in a Box. Complete with goodies (muffins, gummi bears, tea & cider), gifts, games, prizes and a helium balloon. I was incredibly touched by my family's generosity and by the effort that went into the gesture. A very cool surprise, to be sure.
I think tomorrow will be a fairly quiet day, and then we're having a bunch of squirrelly ninth-graders over to "watch the Super Bowl." Really, it just means we'll have the TV on and a lot of food on the table. Should be fun.
That's our life in a nutshell. And I swear, I'll try to do better about posting regularly so that no one has to wonder.