I confess!

I'm having a cranky morning. This past week has been kinda tough, and some of my frustration has (I believe) a legitimate base. However, I'm well aware that it's eating at me in an unhealthy way, and bringing out my not-so-favorite characteristics.

My problem is that when I get upset or frustrated with one area of my life - it tends to seep everywhere. Feeling lonely makes me cranky with Mark - stress at work makes me not want to participate in my other commitments - the house being a mess leaves me feeling upset with everything that is keeping me from being able to spend the time cleaning it up...

I'm not sure why I always react this way. I tend to put myself personally into things - which a lot of the time is really a great thing... but in these situations, it means I don't keep things in perspective very well.

Anyone else know what I mean? Have any tips?

split personality

I'm Feeling: chipper
Background Noise:

I went to an MBTI training on Friday (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator - it's a personality assessment tool). It was fun (to me) - I like those types of things. My problem with Myers-Briggs has been that every time I take it, I have a different personality.

It measures 4 different aspects of personality:
1. Introversion v. Extraversion
2. Sensing v. Intuition
3. Feeling v. Thinking
4. Judging v. Perceiving

I took the assessment again over the weekend, and my results declared me an ENFJ - with strong scores in the "N" and "F" categories, and very slight tendencies toward the "E" and "J" side of life. I think this is fairly accurate, although I'm inclined to believe I'm actually an introvert who likes to talk and interact with a couple people at a time. True extraverts like big crowds and new people - those things tend to drain my energy a bit.

At any rate - it was fun to "discover" my personality this morning when my results came back - and it appears that if ENFJ is indeed my true personality type, that I'm in the right line of work. Way to be.

rain, rain...

I like rain - but I mostly like thunderstorms and big, dramatic shows of nature's (God's) awesome power. Just gloomy, dreary rain isn't so much. Especially when roughly 75% of the past 2 weeks has been like that...

The cool thing is that the leaves are starting to turn - and since I also really like autumn, that makes me happy. I like crunchy leaves, chilly air, apple cider, pumpkins, and all kinds of other fun outdoor-fall type things. But it has to NOT be raining in order to enjoy. *sigh*

Had a nice, relaxing, semi-lazy weekend (I was productive in ways that make me relax, which helps me feel like I was lazy - it's a nice pattern, actually). Laundry, crocheting (yes, I'm basically a grandma), watching Friends DVDs, breakfast with a friend, church, bible study with my 8th grade friends. It was good.

Now it just has to stop raining.

yum!

I'm Feeling: hungry for chocolates...
Background Noise: When I Sing by ISH

So it looks like my family will be traveling to Michigan for Thanksgiving this year (not the actual day, but for the latter part of the weekend...) I have two responses to this scenario (which I readily agreed to):

1. Fun/Hooray - Mark and I, for the first time since we were married, won't have to drive to Chicago at any point over the holiday weekend. I've been making the trip since 1998... it'll be good to stay put for a long weekend.

2. Yikes!/Boo - I'm going to go crazy trying to get the house clean/ready to a standard that will impress/appease my mother. Our house is reasonably tidy most of the time - but Mark and I can be cluttery people, and I don't find cleaning baseboards as a useful way to spend my time.

Mostly, I think it will be a good thing. I mean it really might be. Or... I'm praying hard that it will be.

Cooler news - my little sis may come for a visit before then, which is always superspecial fun. I like when she's here. We don't get to hang out and be stupid nearly often enough.

i wanna be a...

photographer. I'm hoping to take a photography class through LCC next semester and learn a little more about the technical side (rather than just pointing my camera at something that looks pretty and pushing a button...)

I always catch myself driving or walking somewhere and thinking "I wish I had my camera." It happened to me on my way to church Sunday morning - I actually called Mark and asked him to bring the camera with him when he came (I was going earlier than him) so that I could get a picture on my way home. I actually took about 10 pictures total! I'm proud of myself... it can get exhausting to always talk about the things you wish you could do, or would do if you had time. I just wanted to suck it up and actually do it - rather than talk about it. And I did.

Got to relax this weekend, which was fabulous, and I have a busy week coming up, but I think it'll be really fun. That's what I'm going to expect, at least. :)

long-winded re-cap

I'm Feeling: upbeat
Background Noise: hummy computer noises

I got a subtle hint that I may be neglecting my blog - so here goes with an update on me...
Mark has been out of town since Monday morning, and he'll be back late tonight - everyone asks how I'm doing while he's gone, so I thought I'd tell you!

Monday was our first WyldLife event of the school year - we had about 40 kids show up (which is great!) and we had a lot of fun. I was in charge of the talk, and I think it went really well.
Tuesday I went to the 8th grade girls' basketball game (they beat Eaton Rapids), ate a steak dinner with Brooks (our new roommate for the year), went for a run with Lauren (which ended with my cruddy running shoes making my left knee HURT for a day and a half) and then went to our in-depth Bible study at 9:00pm (to return home at 11:40).
Wednesday - I had coffee with Meredith, went to a student organization meeting (I'm the advisor for the group), had dinner with Chelsie, then went home and watched Friends with Brooks.
Last night I went to the credit union to get a check cut in Canadian dollars (Kristen and I are going to a B & B in Ontario for a weekend in October and they don't take credit cards... sigh), then headed to Main Dish Kitchen (my new favorite thing) to make some dinners for the next month. Brooks and I ate a fabulous Taco Bell dinner together, then I went to Beaner's with Cheryl. Home by 9:00, watched more Friends with Brooks, then bed.

(Gosh, when I read back through that, I sound like Ms. Social... it's deceiving... :) )
It's been a busy week, but really really fun. I'm looking forward to being home this weekend, sleeping in, and seeing my husband again!

rough road

I'm Feeling: a little emotionally beat up
Background Noise: Shout by Tears for Fears

Every day in my job, people come to me with questions, concerns, problems, and issues to sort out. I try to listen, analyze, ask questions, and help point them in a direction that will shed some light on their lives. This entails making an effort to be approachable, ready to listen, friendly, and encouraging. Those are great things to try to be - but sometimes it really takes it out of me. I really like my job, and most days, I think I'm reasonably good at it. But I can start to feel a little frayed - the surface still looks OK, but underneath, I'm not holding together as well.

I've been feeling a little unsettled lately - like something is missing. I think I know what it is, but I don't know how to get it. Unfortunately for him, Mark winds up bearing the brunt of my emotional instability. Fortunately for me, he loves me a lot and does his very best to show that to me. However, our God created us for community, and no one person can meet all your needs.

I don't really have a question to ask, or a story to tell here. Just pray for me - for His grace and peace, for love and belonging, and for a place in my life to call mine.

slow day?

I'm Feeling: pretty durn good
Background Noise: office-y chatter

I think I might have a slower day in the office today (now I've jinxed it for sure...) Only 4 appointments with students scheduled, and no other outside meetings - yesterday I pretty much went back to back all day. It was fun, but a little tiring. The highlight of my day yesterday was visiting the middle school for lunch. School started in MI last week, and I've been missing my 8th grade friends (I can't believe they're in 8th grade already!!) They're hilarious and friendly and honest and good at making people feel loved. It's a great break in the middle of a work day.

Got a big weekend coming up - YoungLife meeting on Friday, which we are providing dinner for; then we drive to Chicago late Friday night to visit with my extended family on Saturday (got a cousin getting married next month, so it's wedding shower time!), then back on Sunday in time to go to a WyldLife junior leader training from 6:00-8:30. Phew! When I was a kid, I used to think weekends were for relaxing and catching up on things... now, I know better!

alive and well

I don't have much to post about today... but I wanted my few but faithful readers to know that I'm still alive and kicking. :)

Right now, my belly kind of hurts. I think it's because I ate too much too late last night. I don't get heartburn (knock on wood) but I always wake up feeling weird the next day when I do that. Not sure why I do it. I know I won't feel good when it's all over.

Why do we do things like that - that we know will make us feel weird or uncomfortable? I think humans can be pretty stupid sometimes...

cocktails and dreams

I'm Feeling: thoughtful
Background Noise: nothing really

Yesterday, I left my house at 7am and returned at 7pm. Work sure can take up a lot of your time. :)

However, I did have the distinct pleasure of hanging out with Mark last night - we ate dinner, walked around Burchfield Park for awhile, then came home and watched (a classic) - Cocktail. It was a good evening.

Lots of things have been rolling around in my mind lately - mostly about the kind of person I am, the kind of person I want to be, the kind of person God wants me to be (hopefully those last 2 are pretty much the same) - and how I get there. I like improvement, I like conquering myself, I like saying "I'm going to be better about that" and actually following through. But it's hard. Really, really hard.

Hi-Ho!

I'm Feeling: effective
Background Noise: none (I've gotten BAD about turning on my iTunes at my new job...)

First - guess who is the grand marshal of MSU's Homecoming Parade? That's right - Kermit the Frog!! Click on the link for some fabulously obvious jokes about his school spirit. (Secretly, I think it's awesome. Makes me want to go to the parade, and I never go to the parade. Someone was thinking!)

Welcome back from Labor Day! Happy First Day of School!

New York City was fun - except that all the tennis we were scheduled to see got rained out by hurricane Ernesto (the funniest name for a hurricane I've heard in a long time). Big ole bummer, but it was fun to hang with the fam, walk around Times Square, and visit fancy jazzy barbecue places. Thanks to my mom and pop for making that trip possible! (funny note: when I was typing that last sentence, it came out "mom and poop" - whoops!) Got home on Sunday, and had a really nice end to the weekend - saw a movie with Courtney, went to dinner with Kelsey, organized the pantry, did some laundry, and got to spend some time with my hubby.

What did you do?

look out, New York!

I'm Feeling: soooo stinking tired!
Background Noise: co-workers calling "good morning"

So tomorrow, bright and early, Mark and I head to Detroit to catch a plane to go to New York City to watch the US OPEN!! (I used the word "to"5 times in one sentence... sweet.)

My mom, dad, sister, brother, and sister-in-law will all head there sometime today, and we'll catch up with them tomorrow morning. We get to watch fabulous tennis, stay in Manhattan, eat really expensive food, and celebrate my brother's and sister's birthdays. Hooray!!

I'm really excited to go, although I haven't thought about it as much as you'd expect - the crazy new job is keeping me very pre-occupied lately. In a good way, I guess, but I'll be happy to spend a weekend with my family and focusing on something VERY different from work.

So, I wish you an early Happy Labor Day Weekend - spend some time enjoying your company, and make sure you relax a little bit!!

reinforcement

I'm Feeling: encouraged (and also a little sleepy)
Background Noise: a very busy office

I've been doing some work-related research - looking at career options for business majors, trying to figure out what information I need to best help students... and I stumbled across the Keirsey Temperament Sorter - which is a personality test based on the Myers-Briggs typology. I'm a sucker for personality tests - and I have a kind of unusual personality, in that I'm almost 50/50 in a lot of areas - I can be really introverted and also very social, I'm very logical and process oriented but also highly empathetic... it's weird. So it's fun to retake tests, because on any given day, I'll end up "sorted" into a completely different personality than the day before.

However - today, I'm feeling good about myself because of what I saw when I finished my test:
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Weird - it sounds like my job!! It's kinda cool to think that I'm well-matched for my professional life - it's encouraging when you feel ineffective or intimidated. The gifts God entrusted to me are being used - and that's comforting.

What personality are you?

time flies

I'm Feeling: mildly irked that pictures won't upload into Blogger today
Background Noise: Feels Like Rain by Josh Schicker

Time is zipping right by lately - the school year was ending before I knew it, suddenly it was the 4th of July, then August and back-to-school rolled around... now, with the new job, things are moving at hyper-warp-speed like never before. In some ways, it's really good = time at work goes very quickly (translation: I'm NOT bored). In some ways, it's kind of a bummer = laundry didn't quite get done this weekend, and I keep playing phone tag with people.

Anyway - I'm liking the new job, although it's been crazy and busy lately - I think it will fit me well and the people seem great (we just need to have the time to actually talk to each other once in awhile).

I had lunch with Julie and Courtney on Friday, and lunch with Jane and Jen today - it's good to sit with people who know you and simply laugh about silly things. Very little pressure or expectation... and once again - the time flies right by!!

ghetto thugs?

I'm Feeling: worn out
Background Noise: I Take My Chances by Mary Chapin Carpenter

These are my ghetto-thug girlfriends from WyldLife (translation: funny white girls from Mason pretending to be tough at camp). It's a fun picture.

I've become one of those people who only knows how to post about work. I'm gonna try to not mention it today.

Had a big weekend: spent time up at TimberWolf Lake (our home away from home), had a big picnic dinner with our Mason WyldLife and YoungLife friends, and last night had a back-to-school type meeting with some leaders for YoungLife. It's good to be back into the swing of the school year, but I'm having some of those "Oh my, my calendar is SO FULL" moments lately. It'll all work out, this too shall pass... but for right now, I'm feeling kinda buried in things.

Probably running some errands tonight - and I think tomorrow evening, I actually get to hang out with my husband, who I haven't been alone with in over a week, I think. That'll be nice.

who? what? huh??

I'm Feeling: overwhelmed
Background Noise: hustle-y bustle-y office sounds

I'm betting that my blogging will fall off here for awhile - this new job thing is busier than I remember... I didn't take a lunch hour today, and I haven't stopped "going" since I walked in at 7:50 this morning. Phew!

So far, it's excellent - I really like the people and the work (I think - doesn't feel like I've been working much... just showing up at work), and it's good to be busy with things I'm good at and enjoy. I'm trying to not be my usual self and look too far into the future and get all stressed out. Stay calm, Kate... calm. :)

I'll try to not slip too far behind - I know there are one or two people who check my blog... don't want to disappoint the faithful followers.

Love!

what - no pictures??

I'm Feeling: perplexed
Background Noise: True by Ryan Cabrera

So I can't get my computer to upload pictures... going to have to tackle that one next week, methinks.

New Job Observations:
1. I'm in that weird busy-but-not-busy mode you hit in a new position - lots to learn, but not much to DO yet, since you don't really know HOW to do anything.
2. People are very friendly - I'm learning who likes to pretend to be cranky, and who actually IS cranky (just kidding - so far, I think it's just pretending)
3. My office needs a little personalizing, but I really like it.
4. My feet hurt (I'm wearing real work shoes, instead of my usual summertime flip-flops... gotta make a good impression).
5. I'm excited about all the new things I'll get to do - I think I'll be a lot busier here than in PoliSci - which is good (but I'm nervous that I may have gotten lazy...)

Big weekend - pretty much as soon as I get home from work, we turn around and head to TimberWolf Lake - a place I love - to spend the weekend serving for a family-reunion event there. It should be awesome - I just hope that I can turn off work-brain and enjoy the moments.

Have a great weekend - what are you up to??

quick like a cat

It's been a whirlwind couple of days - I'm at my new desk, in my new office, at my new job. Very cool. I'll try to post tomorrow, then I'm gone for a long weekend - an excellent distraction from the professional - hullaballoo (is there such a thing?) I've been going through the past couple weeks.

Adios!!

bugs and chairs.

I'm Feeling: whelmed (not over or under... just whelmed)
Background Noise: gentle hum of a moderately functional AC unit

Tomorrow is my last day in the Department of Political Science - and I finally got a new desk chair. No, it's not quite like the one in the picture - but it's pretty, it reclines, rolls smoothly, and the fabric hasn't worn out anywhere yet. I'd be bummed, except that it makes a semi-obnoxious squeaky sound whenever you move. So that makes me feel better about leaving it behind... isn't that awfully grown-up and mature of me?

In other news, I have four mosquito bites on my ankles that are driving me absolutely bonkers.

mmmm...

I'm Feeling: full of tasty lunch
Background Noise: She by Elvis Costello

One of my favorite little places to eat in East Lansing is Flat's Grill. They are the home of the "flat sandwich" - which really means that you've got all kinds of sandwiches offered quesadilla-style - tortilla folded in half, with lots of yummy cheese. I just had lunch there - my sandwich, plus chips & salsa and cornbread, and I'm a very happy girl. It's one of those local places that's distinctly East Lansing - gotta love the home-grown goods.

Hooray for Fridays, also... although I'm not quite sure what I'll do with myself tonight. Mark is going to Detroit to a Lions game with his dad and brother. Brooks (our housemate for the year) is on vacation. The night is mine... I just have to decide what to do with it. Any suggestions?